Lent day 2: I am sorry

Lent day 2:  I am sorry

Joel 2: 12-13
Yet even now, says the Lord,
   return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; 
   rend your hearts and not your clothing.
Return to the Lord, your God,
   for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,
   and relents from punishing.

There is a mourning and guilt that is distinct to mother's who work away from the home. I am sorry for all the games I missed.  For those 40 Friday nights you and your brothers fought and triumphed and made history and memories.  I missed that part your life -- so important to you -- and I ache from the choice.  I gave some blood when I did get there those two times to see you, and I am proud of those scars.  Our God knows scars.  Wounds heal.  Forgiveness happens.  We rend our hearts because God's steadfast love is the only salve.







This is the fast I choose.  I will remember my first calling -- mother.  I will see you glowing in God's light and walk with you in that light. I will cry with you when the questions can't be answered and the unknowing is scary. I will hold you the way God holds me.  

This Lenten season I want to dwell in the Word(s) that remind me that God knows this calling.  A mother hen saving her chicks from a fox.  A gardener mulching and tending and praying for a sapling to mature and bear fruit.The patient and forgiving father who greets the wandering teen with a fully open heart.  Jesus' knows this choice -- to love as God loves -- at all costs.